It’s an average day at Hasani Mustafa Ibrahim Mohammad’s 7-11 convenience store in suburban Dallas. Or is it? Hasani himself has gone to the Plano Texas County Courthouse and has officially changed his name to Adam Sandler. He’s thrilled to celebrate his new identity with his number one employee, Benny “the Salsa King” Hernandez, who has a crush on Paxton the gorgeous yoga instructress who comes in every day to buy a 3 Musketeers Bar. Barry Fitzgerald, 17, goes there every day after school to buy a Slurpee and think about his dream girl, who has just consented to a Saturday night date. OMG!

Rounding out the customers are U.S. Army recruiting sergeant Barbara Bell Waters, who buys a lottery ticket once a week; stressed-out bride-to-be Susan Taylor and her groom to be, Devon Pace, arriving to buy an emergency supply of tampons; defrocked billionaire turned fugitive, Vaughn Dexter who is so broke that he has to rob convenience markets to stay alive and his confederate, down-on-his-luck magician Tab Hallyday. No sooner do Vaughn and Tab show up with guns waving than they are arrested by police officers Jerry Hubble and Wi Lay Hahn (a Korean American cop).

While everyone is recovering from the botched robbery, the city of Plano conducts a supposedly harmless test of the city’s supercollider superconductor. At the very moment that the experiment takes place, the Slurpee machine in Adam Sandler’s 7-11 short circuits, colliding with the electro-magnetic force of the supercollider, causing a rip in the time space continuum, which sends the whole 7-11 back to the desert of Ancient Egypt, circa 711 B.C. They arrive in the middle of a political coup, in which an unjust Pharaoh – Bakenranef – has seized power and the true Pharaoh – Shabako – has been tossed out into the desert to die.

Now, our heroes from 2015 have to figure out a way to get back to the present, while finding themselves caught in the twisting web of Egyptian political intrigue.